Hey look Im alive...sort of

So I suck I haven't been on here and blogged well this year. I didn't have the best of yuletide seasons. My beloved dog and guide Nubbins passed away. He was sick for about two weeks before finally moving to the other side. I have been very upset with the Goddess over this. Well okay Ive been pissed and not really on speaking terms with her. I am just now starting to deal with it. I know that he is still with me and is a very strong guide for me but I wanted him on this side where he can lay on my hip at night and make it hurt. I have been on emotional shut down. Which my friends have recent figured out and have begun to work on pulling me out of it starting with holding a memorial for him a few weeks ago. It help A LOT. More than I expected it to honestly. It still feels like I'm having a heart attack when I fully open my heart chakra but I can mange to stay standing when I do. So I guess at the point my blog will get a bit more depressing as I am going to be dealing with this during my journey this year. I have got to reconnect and come to grips with my anger towards the goddess and the fact that I chose to have a difficult life path.