I want do to a circle so bad right now but I am so drained. The sad thing is I always what to do circle when I am drained but don’t ever seem to want to when I have the energy and should be doing it.

Plus side to my day an awesome bitch gave me Scott Cunninhams ‘

The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews  which I have totally been wanting 

Had surgery instead of celebrating Full Moon. Bad Pagan? I prefer to think of it as a non-traditional kidney stone sacrifice to the goddess not to mention all of the blood i'm losing

Why hello there

And a wild killer bunny returns!!! *major cheering from the crowd*
Any who heres whats been up with me. Since I lost my beloved Nubbins I pretty much told the Goddess and God to fuck off. I finally started to come around and working on the God aspect and things in my life went down the shitter so I'm not talking to God again. However, I am talking to the Goddess which she doesn't really like it when I talk to God anyways.

I have been slacking as I always seem to be doing with my worship and haven't done ritual in forever. Last night I finally drug my lazy but back to my closet, yes my alter is in my walk in closet, and did a ritual. IT FELT AMAZING. I wouldn't say that it was better than having great sex but it was at least as good as having good sex. I always forget how powerful I can be when I want until I actually put effort into a ritual or spell work. Anytime I put I lot into spell work it works out just how I asked and often times I get a better than hoped for result. Granted I am damn careful how I ask for things and I don't expect the Goddess to just give me what ever I ask for. I ask her to give me a way to make it happen for myself. Last night I asked her to help take away certain things that I have allowed myself to cling to- people, thoughts and relationships that haven't been healthy for me. Already today I am feeling better and they are no longer bothering me the way did yesterday. Which isn't to say I'm numb or don't care but I am no longer rule or paralyzed by it.

Also, I love this time of year. I think that it is the most powerful for me. I attended a ritual last year at Halloween that my friends did and I can still feel the reverberation from it today. The things I gave to the God and Goddess last year and still gone and no longer haunt me. I don't know why I always seem to let myself get away from doing rituals and practicing daily. I always do so much better mentally when I do. So heres to making myself worship regularly and making myself blog again.

I have a thing for non-traditional red riding hood pics

Huh

Hey look Im alive...sort of

So I suck I haven't been on here and blogged well this year. I didn't have the best of yuletide seasons. My beloved dog and guide Nubbins passed away. He was sick for about two weeks before finally moving to the other side. I have been very upset with the Goddess over this. Well okay Ive been pissed and not really on speaking terms with her. I am just now starting to deal with it. I know that he is still with me and is a very strong guide for me but I wanted him on this side where he can lay on my hip at night and make it hurt. I have been on emotional shut down. Which my friends have recent figured out and have begun to work on pulling me out of it starting with holding a memorial for him a few weeks ago. It help A LOT. More than I expected it to honestly. It still feels like I'm having a heart attack when I fully open my heart chakra but I can mange to stay standing when I do. So I guess at the point my blog will get a bit more depressing as I am going to be dealing with this during my journey this year. I have got to reconnect and come to grips with my anger towards the goddess and the fact that I chose to have a difficult life path.